Monday, October 15, 2007

Some chuckles

The original email said "Only in America" for the first few, but I'm sure they're fairly universal, especially the first one...

Only in America...
  • drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
  • they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


  • why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • why women can't put on mascar a with their mouth closed?
  • why you don't ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
  • why 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
  • why it is that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
  • why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  • why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
  • why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour?
  • why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
  • why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
  • why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
  • why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  • You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
    Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle) other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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