Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Reposted from CraniumAbuse's "Life is a Safari" blog

Here's something from my friend who goes by the name of CraniumAbuse, from his blog http://CraniumAbuse.Chat-Rock.com, reposted with his permission:

This observational editorial was originally penned in September of 2003. It’s been hit at and edited a time or two over the last couple of years. I’ve knocked the cobwebs and dust off of it, and posted it here for old time’s sake. Here it is, in all it’s decrepit glory:

CraniumAbuse Rant of the Day: X Rated Rant

Not that I want to get off on a rant here, But…

Acronyms, labels, and all of these X’s…

What is it with all of these X’s ?Just what is the fixation with “X” ?

Ever since Y2K (Another stupid acronym), it seems that every version of anything produced has to be labeled somethingX, or Xsomething.

The century turns,and all of a sudden, we’ve broken out in X.

First we had Gen X,as if any generation wanted to be known as X…

Then came X everything. X-Files, X-treme sports, Xtreme Games, X Box, X Men, X-this and X-that.

Car names, all kinds of stuff…Everything is X !What do I drive? I drive a 300ZX !

I used to be married, guess what? Yep, she is now my X.

Back in the day (in the 20th century), way back when…XXX meant strippers or porn. Or the label on a moonshine jar. Or an X in the eyes of deceased cartoon characters.

Back in the day, back when TV was TV…Brand X was always the rival sample that faired poorly against the “New and Improved” version of a show’s sponsor. Brand X was not what you wanted to be in the eyes of American consumers. Now it seems, we are being spoon fed X…Ok, another one, FedEx… Where will it end?

Now, all of a sudden, it’s the fashionable label for anything that has been created post Y2K.

Wazzup wid all dat?

Even things that were going in order,and were only at like 6.xxx --- Arrrggh! See? Even generic notations are .x ! Cpanel went from 7.xxx to Cpanel X. Why?

At least in the case of XML and XHTML, the x stands for Extensible……or was that just by design too ?

Even the operating systems decided that numbers were passé. OS X, XP, or X-anything that goes with those…

Microsoft went from 95 to 98, fixed a bit it became 98SE. Then they lost their freakin’ minds and puked out ME. Which supposedly meant Millennium Edition…Not to be confused with 2000, which is the actual millennium.

They top that all off with, you know it, “X”P.Which at first wouldn’t run anything but the junk that came on it. Well, that proprietary diet and any other OEM spam disguised as HP or Compaq “services”… Including links and helpful little items like AOL.(which by the way, is the antichrist)

Mac’s OS, went from 9.xxx to OS X…

Ok, so you might say…“You Moron, X is the next character after 9 in the Roman numeral system. OS 9 naturally went to OS X, like Duh.”

To which I would reply…Yeah, how many buttons came on your iMouse? Like iDuh.

And like 9 is a Roman Numeral?As were I suppose, OS 8, OS 7, OS 6, etc…Would not then, those be OS VIII and OS VII, OS VI, etc. ?

And, don’t even get me started on the iDumb iDea of iUsing “i” before everything Mac.

Not to be outdone, other software wannabe monopolies followed suit… DreamWeaver and Flash became “MX”…I suppose their own branded version of X, the “M” for Macromedia.

I suppose that if I’m to hold my head up high and become politically correct, I should change my favorite moniker to CranX. Or even better yet, how about iCranX ?Has a certain contemporary ring to it, does it not?

I’m sure there are other Xamples, Xemplary Xtensions and Xplanations…… but I see no Xcuse for it all.

Alright kind and patient folks, I’ve abused your, and my, craniums just about long enough I think.

Sorry, that I got off on a rant…

Well Xcuse me !

That Folks, was your Cranium Abuse of the day.My little rant, for this month anyway.Stay tuned for more senseless babble, inane ramble, and maybe even some occasional useful content.No promises though, on the useful part.

Thanks, and Have A Great Day !

- CraniumAbuse

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Stranger than Fiction, mark 2

So here we go again, this time on Blogger. I'd had a blog under the same title at BraveJournal, but I see that Blogger has quite a few features that BraveJournal doesn't offer, so the whole thing is being reposted here. All posts were reposted under the dates the originals were posted at BraveJournal. Sorry to all those who commented, but I have NO IDEA how to carry over comments, except to add them to the original post... OK, that's the solution.

See, talking to yourself has some benefits, even if it is by computer rather than out loud.

Everything bad is good for you?

A few weeks ago I picked up Time Out New York magazine, which I do from time to time, just to see what's going on around the area. On the cover was a shapely woman in a lounge chair, reading a book called "Everything Bad Is Good for You." I laughed at the title and assumed that it was just something mocked up for the photo shoot. Lo and behold, it's a real book. The author contends that things like junk food, "bad" TV, and all the elements of pop culture that critics tend to moan about actually make better people of those who participate in them. He calls it the Sleeper Effect, after the premise of the Woody Allen movie "Sleeper," where scientists are amazed that 20th century doctors scoffed at the nutritional value of junk food while promoting vegetables.

I got a nice little chuckle out of that, especially since the review I read indicated that the book was written in a style that suggests the author doesn't want to be taken too seriously.

Then a few days ago I read where prosecutors and judges are beginning to discuss among themselves what is called the "CSI effect." People serving on juries have watched the various CSI shows, heard all about forensic evidence and have begun asking for forensic testing (and getting exasperated when the results don't come back as quickly as they do on the shows). Also, more colleges are offering forensic science courses apart from law enforcement or medical coursework.

So, everything "bad" isn't good for us, but some of it is...

Today I heard a song on the radio about Aunt Jemima, of all people. It was on a show featuring folk musicians (When I'm in my car I hit the seek button until I hear something interesting, whatever and whoever that may be), and the song was lamenting the changing of Aunt Jemima's picture on the pancake box from the traditional pic to "Oprah." I had no idea that the original pic was of a real woman named Nancy Green, who had befriended the originators of the Aunt Jemima pancake recipe.

It seems a bit paradoxical that those folks who protested that the image was derogatory either didn't know or didn't care that it was an image of a real person, one of the first well-known advertising spokespersons in fact, who happened to be a not-necessarily-photogenic black woman who could cook.

The song's chorus pointed out that unlike a few advertising icons, including "Mr. Clean, this was a real live mama, by the name of Nancy Green." I was trying to find the lyrics online but so far without success. I went to the Fairleigh Dickinson University website and email the hosts of the show (it was on WFDU, the school's station) and asked them for info. I could probably not contact the host without the aid of the Internet, which is both a playground of the perverted and a playground for those who think. "Everything bad is good for you"? Hmm...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I know it's been quiet...

I've had surgery, and though I guess I had plenty to say, I just didnt feel like posting for awhile.
The surgery is called "core decompression," or basically sucking out decayed tissue from my thighbones with a loooong needle. Prescription medication, anemia, and who knows what else led to the ball of the thighbone not getting enough oxygen. I say "who knows what" because I'm told it could be caused by almost anything, and sometimes there IS no traceable cause.

The doctor had told me before surgery that I would be on crutches for six weeks afterward. In the hospital, already "dressed" for surgery, I find out that he prefers that I use a walker. A WALKER! I'm only 40!

I was in quite a bit of pain when I left the hospital Friday night, but nothing unbearable. I went to bed but was unable to get more than an hour of sleep. I just couldn't get comfortable in any position. I couldn't sleep on my sides, since that's where the incisions were (and fortunately, that's where the pain was centered -- if it was closer to the groin, there could have been something wrong at the surgical site), and I never could sleep on my back. The next night (and following nights) I slept sitting up on a couch in the living room. The pain is almost gone but lying in any position is still very uncomfortable, so I'm still sleeping sitting on the couch for the near future.

At the followup visit Monday, "walker or crutches" came up again when the doctor tapped the walker twice and told me to "be good." I asked him again if that meant I HAD to use a walker and he repeated his earlier answer. No sooner did I get home than I pulled out that family member's old crutches and began doing a four-legged walk, because I thought that was the best way to keep the weight off my legs. Everybody else seemed convinced that that was wrong -- they'd all been on crutches, but that was for a one-leg injury. I'd just had surgery on both legs... and I didn't even think to call the doctor today to see if I'm doing it right. For that matter, why didn't they show me how to use both a walker AND crutches, so I'd be prepared no matter which one I wound up using?

And OH JOY, as soon as I'm off the crutches, I'll have to start looking around for someplace to move to, partly because of a bunch of STUPID "mistakes" apparently made by another family member, mistakes I had nothing to do with. Though in truth, if not for the surgery, I'd probably be already gone or in the process of moving. I'm not happy about the circumstances of course, but then I AM 40 years old -- I should have been out of here a LONG time ago.

I've been doing a lot of praying, both over the health situation and for what comes after. I know it will all work out.

Well, that's about it for now. Time to go play some Collapse...

Reposted comments from the old BraveJournal:

Posted by Cor:
It will all work out. Somehow. It's like the Heisenberg Principle or something - believing in the likelihood of an outcome skews the results.Not to say it will occur quickly (as I have rediscovered)...Thanks for the description of the surgery (and I have never been good at sleeping on my back either, but for different reasons).Where one residence-door closes, another opens, et and cetera.Heal well (again)
Tuesday, May 17th 2005 @ 10:27 PM

Posted by
"Be good" - what a jerkoff.Use the crutches to simulate the effects of the walker. Ta-da.
Tuesday, May 17th 2005 @ 10:30 PM

Posted by
Bryan Doe:
Oh, I'm not *too* worried about where I'm going. I may have a place or two lined up. A friend with an apartment available actually told me that he was in no hurry, and didn't want me to even think about trying to move in while I was on crutches, and I haven't even seen the place yet.
Wednesday, May 18th 2005 @ 9:23 AM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Dead Rats and Dirty Water

Why you should NEVER lick an envelope

Reposted comments from the old BraveJournal:

Posted by Cor:
That story attributed to CNN sounds like an urban legend. I can't find it on cnn.com ...Oh, wait - it is an urban legend!
Thursday, May 12th 2005 @ 1:55 PM

Posted by Bryan Doe:
I'm sure there's more than a little bit of urban legend in the whole thing (like the roach trapped in the woman's tongue), but I have no doubt about things like dead rats in the glue tub, or dirty water used to ungunk stuck machinery. Keep a sponge nearby... ;-) :-P
Thursday, May 12th 2005 @ 2:08 PM

Posted by Cor:
Touché.If you want to miss out on extra protein, OK. Mmmmmmm.
Sunday, May 15th 2005 @ 12:27 AM

Radioactive ceramic tile and kitty litter?

There are report in the news about how all the millions that the Federal Government spent on screening equipment for airports and other sensitive areas after 9/11 have to be replaced because they're inadequate or just plain don't work. One of the comments made was that radiation-detecting equipment "cannot differentiate between radiation from a nuclear bomb and naturally occurring radiation from everyday material like cat litter or ceramic tile." My father's in the middle of redoing his bathroom, so this naturally raised some alarms.

I Googled "radiation 'ceramic tile' " and found this link from the Health Physics Society. I can't say that it really did that much to set my mind at ease, because it doesn't say if there are some kinds of tile that are more radioactive than others, or if there are actually types that could be dangerous.

Googling "radiation 'cat litter' " came up with some interesting stuff, including a link from Snopes.com in which the source of radioactivity was, to paraphrase the article, 'the cat's leavings, not what the kitty left them in.'

But contradicting Snopes is this link on cat litter from the Oak Ridge Associated Universities (the link's from ORAU, not the litter). It says that some cat litter has been known to trip radiation sensors.

I used to think it was just the smell that was radioactive...

Reposted comments from the old BraveJournal:

Posted by Cor:
"Uranium hunter follows trail of tiles"

(Despite the evil-monopolist influence [of the MSN link], there could accidentially be some accurate information there)
(There was a longer article a few years back, probably profiling the same guy, more skeptical, in an alt-press weekly... can't find it now... apparently it wasn't in SF Weekly, LA Weekly (now owned by Village Voice)... ) Worrisome quote from the end of the article: "Everything is measurably radioactive." Swell.
Wednesday, May 11th 2005 @ 11:25 AM

Posted by Bryan Doe:
Apparently it's radioactivity that maintains life. Everything organic (or of organic origin) has some radioactivity in it.

Ceramics and cat litter are both made from clay -- for some reason I had always thought cat litter was made from tree bark.
Wednesday, May 11th 2005 @ 12:20 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Iced Tea?

I saw this commercial a couple of days ago, about a retractable awning for back porches. But through the whole commercial, I couldn't take my eyes off this pitcher of suspicious-looking liquid on a table next to where the spokespeople were sitting. I'm sure that it was just a prop, probably colored water or something undrinkable. But I couldn't help thinking it looked like something that has no business being in a ptcher. Too dark for lemonade, too light for iced tea, at least for any tea I would drink. Like my father might say, it looked kinda like someone already drank it...

As for tea, I've never understood how people find enjoyment in the sweet, syrupy, extremely weak concoction that usually passes for homemade iced tea. I like my iced tea strong, so strong that people start to wonder how much it can bench-press.

Reposted comments from the old BraveJournal:

Posted by Cor:
A much better script, of course, would have included the pitcher inexplicably levitating off the table and emptying itself over some dude's head.(Tea should be strong, trying to be like coffee. No sugar. Yuck.)
Tuesday, May 10th 2005 @ 3:42 PM

Posted by Bryan Doe:
Tea with no sugar? I don't like the pale weak stuff but I need the sugar in mine. :P
Tuesday, May 10th 2005 @ 9:58 PM

Posted by Cor:
Yeah. well, [insert Damnyankee joke here - with extra irony, as it would be coming from an L.A.-native lowlife]...Some might wonder what the point of ingesting bitter, often apathetically prepared stimulants + sugar would be, but they would likely be younger and livelier (and less unemployed) than, uh, me...
Tuesday, May 10th 2005 @ 11:30 PM

Friday, May 06, 2005

Some changes

For those who are coming here from the Yahoo groups, I've made some changes. This blog will be used for posting links to news stories and whatnot. I'll use the Blogger account I already had (and didn't know it worked) for stories.

Reposted comments from the old BraveJournal:

Posted by Cor:
Yessir. And appropriately enough, it's on "Brave"net...You can be sure I bookmarked this, and will be checking in (and out). Y! Groups in general seem to be quieter, lately.Work week's almost over - soon you will be less tired. That's my prediction.- Cor -
Friday, May 6th 2005 @ 11:35 AM

Posted by CraniumAbuse:
Hey Bryan, post this at Southern Accent... You'll get more visitors than from just sending out a few emails. Luckily, I caught your message before my Spam Assasin did undoable things to it. ;) Good luck, - Cran
Friday, May 6th 2005 @ 12:11 PM

Posted by CraniumAbuse:
Sorry, my bad. You already did. I just now approved the meassge. Well, now you'll be exposed. Almost 5,000 members strong, that group is nowadays. Again, Good Luck, - Cran
Friday, May 6th 2005 @ 12:17 PM

Another "finger food" story

But this one is apparently NOT a hoax: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-05-02-custard-finger_x.htm

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

An (old) joke

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. But, he still manages to ask the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"