This observational editorial was originally penned in September of 2003. It’s been hit at and edited a time or two over the last couple of years. I’ve knocked the cobwebs and dust off of it, and posted it here for old time’s sake. Here it is, in all it’s decrepit glory:
CraniumAbuse Rant of the Day: X Rated Rant
Not that I want to get off on a rant here, But…
Acronyms, labels, and all of these X’s…
What is it with all of these X’s ?Just what is the fixation with “X” ?
Ever since Y2K (Another stupid acronym), it seems that every version of anything produced has to be labeled somethingX, or Xsomething.
The century turns,and all of a sudden, we’ve broken out in X.
First we had Gen X,as if any generation wanted to be known as X…
Then came X everything. X-Files, X-treme sports, Xtreme Games, X Box, X Men, X-this and X-that.
Car names, all kinds of stuff…Everything is X !What do I drive? I drive a 300ZX !
I used to be married, guess what? Yep, she is now my X.
Back in the day (in the 20th century), way back when…XXX meant strippers or porn. Or the label on a moonshine jar. Or an X in the eyes of deceased cartoon characters.
Back in the day, back when TV was TV…Brand X was always the rival sample that faired poorly against the “New and Improved” version of a show’s sponsor. Brand X was not what you wanted to be in the eyes of American consumers. Now it seems, we are being spoon fed X…Ok, another one, FedEx… Where will it end?
Now, all of a sudden, it’s the fashionable label for anything that has been created post Y2K.
Wazzup wid all dat?
Even things that were going in order,and were only at like 6.xxx --- Arrrggh! See? Even generic notations are .x ! Cpanel went from 7.xxx to Cpanel X. Why?
At least in the case of XML and XHTML, the x stands for Extensible……or was that just by design too ?
Even the operating systems decided that numbers were passé. OS X, XP, or X-anything that goes with those…
Microsoft went from 95 to 98, fixed a bit it became 98SE. Then they lost their freakin’ minds and puked out ME. Which supposedly meant Millennium Edition…Not to be confused with 2000, which is the actual millennium.
They top that all off with, you know it, “X”P.Which at first wouldn’t run anything but the junk that came on it. Well, that proprietary diet and any other OEM spam disguised as HP or Compaq “services”… Including links and helpful little items like AOL.(which by the way, is the antichrist)
Mac’s OS, went from 9.xxx to OS X…
Ok, so you might say…“You Moron, X is the next character after 9 in the Roman numeral system. OS 9 naturally went to OS X, like Duh.”
To which I would reply…Yeah, how many buttons came on your iMouse? Like iDuh.
And like 9 is a Roman Numeral?As were I suppose, OS 8, OS 7, OS 6, etc…Would not then, those be OS VIII and OS VII, OS VI, etc. ?
And, don’t even get me started on the iDumb iDea of iUsing “i” before everything Mac.
Not to be outdone, other software wannabe monopolies followed suit… DreamWeaver and Flash became “MX”…I suppose their own branded version of X, the “M” for Macromedia.
I suppose that if I’m to hold my head up high and become politically correct, I should change my favorite moniker to CranX. Or even better yet, how about iCranX ?Has a certain contemporary ring to it, does it not?
I’m sure there are other Xamples, Xemplary Xtensions and Xplanations…… but I see no Xcuse for it all.
Alright kind and patient folks, I’ve abused your, and my, craniums just about long enough I think.
Sorry, that I got off on a rant…
Well Xcuse me !
That Folks, was your Cranium Abuse of the day.My little rant, for this month anyway.Stay tuned for more senseless babble, inane ramble, and maybe even some occasional useful content.No promises though, on the useful part.
Thanks, and Have A Great Day !
- CraniumAbuse
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